from the unexpected places

take my world apart
i am on my knees
take my world apart
broken on my knees

i wrote an earlier post but it disappeared magically because of the loopholes in technology. no matter :)

becoz i've learnt that God sometimes has mysterious plans that can only come to fulfilment once the selfish ways of man are put to one side so that His plan can follow through. selfish ways, of course, including my own blindness and stupidity. in fact, sometimes, those plans have the exact same result as what man intends, it's just that God wants man to give Him the reins. but enough for now.. i'm not going to cry over a silly blog entry.

i went on an outing i was entirely intent on sidestepping because it would be immensely awkward. i watched a show i didn't intend to watch in the first place. i started single and morose and ended up attached and blissful. some lousy hollywood romance? possibly. the strange manner that kai and i got together? certainly.

there i was, having spent the whole week wrestling with my emotions and thoughts. i finally decided that, despite me thinking through this carefully, it'd be best to let God take charge. so i backed off. God smiled and nudged me back to the same goal, but along His route, not mine.

which turned out to be the major spiritual lesson for me over the course of the last month or so. with groups, after all the stress and bother, i finally decided that it wasn't for me to decide which groups i could join but for God and i tell Him so. and let kar mun + TSD gang work things out. which they do. and i'm really happy with the decision.

thank you groopeas :) i'll do all i can.

then there's the issue of me feeling rather reclusive. no-one likes to feel socially excluded, and even when it's not true, i guess i still have this stupid fear and paranoia for some reason unbeknownst to me. so there i am feeling an unfounded isolation and saif comes along with a few lines about dearest sharlene.

thank you shar. very very much. you've helped me to realise that i have so many friends, it's just that i overlook them in my blindness.

and from all the unexpected places comes the most eye-opening lessons and the widest smiles in my heart.

thank you God.