for lack of a better title

issues issues issues. everywhere, all the time. sometimes i wonder why the human brain doesn't just implode into some icky mess thinking about the many problems in life. ignorance is bliss.

if you think this post is going to be sad, moody and depressive, it isn't :)

over the course of the last few weeks, i've been slowly discovering the little things that make precious life worth living again. not just letting each day bumble on meaninglessly, but actually enjoying each day as it comes and relishing the gift of life.

inevitably, everything will come back to God. i was thinking on the bus ride home yesterday "yeah, God has given me so much. i don't feel like i deserve all this. heck, i don't deserve anything!" for once, i don't think it a cardinal sin to say that i'm right. it's true. that's why i believe in grace, in mercy and in giving, because everything i have now is a gift or a responsibility, and it's my place to treasure what i have.

i treasure those times i have in church, worshipping God. no, not just in church. alone in my room, or upstairs with the worship group or anywhere at all. the privilege of coming to God with all my terrible sins and still being called 'a child of God' isn't something i should take for granted. i know i'm passionate and i will continue to lavish praise unto the Lord :)

i treasure the family that i have. having had the holiday to play with them, i realised that i'm so fortunate to have loving parents and such fantastic siblings. when i hear of family arguments and quarrels, it tears my heart apart, because i don't know what i'd do in those circumstances. no family can ever be perfect, but at least we can love each other.

i treasure my girlfriend. yes, it will appear typical and cheesy. incessant phone-calls, smses, dates, flowers, etc... but i also know that God explicitly said 'yes', and if not for that, i wouldn't be enjoying all this now. it's helped to put the final nail in the coffin for the issue of evelyn, reawakened a true desire to honour God and, not to mention, given me a companion i can trust and love. imperfect, true, but God-willing. every moment.

i treasure my school friends. certainly, things happen. arguments. tension. misunderstandings. but i'm thankful that i've been put in VJC. it's given my schooling life a whole new dimension that never existed before. from the wide network of friends to the closest inner circle to my heart, i truly feel like part of a vibrant community that's helped me to look forward to every school day so much more than ever before. a daily item of thanksgiving, for sure.

i treasure my friends outside of school, because those who are still in contact with me are those whom i love most dearly. kimkangsmife goes without saying. to've maintained such bonds of friendship over such a long period of time and potentially divisive issues is really amazing. likewise, my church friends, some of whom i've known since i can remember and others newly-found, i look forward to sundays, because i get to fellowship with you and share a friendship that is truly unique to the Christian community.

and these are just the people whom i treasure. there's so much else.

i'm beginning to remember that my ability to play music isn't something i should take for granted. the emotional relief it brings me has comforted me countless times. that i told God "Lord, let me use the guitar to worship You" is no coincidence, considering how i'm not fantastic at secular songs but i revel in worship songs.

similarly, my enjoyment in the simple pleasures in life. after a taxing game of football in the sweltering heat and in my collared shirt and long pants, i thank God that i can enjoy these days of youth. that i can even play and enjoy football is God-given in itself. it wears me out, yeah, but i just have so much fun.

and my obsession with finding munchkin has revealed to me my innate determination which surprises me, yet doesn't, at the same time. i thank the Lord that i'm me, that's He's made me me, with my various strengths and weaknesses. the way i'm crafted is with love and, though imperfect, certainly just right for His purposes at this point in time. that never ceases to amaze me.

the warmth that He brings to my heart from every source just reminds me that life is worth the while after all.