oh dear.

i decided to help kai look into the courses offered by NUS for Theatre Studies and couldn't resist taking a peek at the History modules they offer there. sigh. it was as if scrolling past every module made my brain more and more clouded... :( it's not as if i haven't seen the list before; i made a cursory glance at it before going to SMU. but now, the words on the page seem to scream out a bit louder each time, more than ever before: "industrialisation", "European war", "involving political, economic and social factors"...

perhaps coincidentally, i've been having happy memories of my childhood days; while my friends were raving about their Star Wars Fan Fiction or Tom Clancy, i pored over countless history books, from my brother's Sec 1 and Sec 2 Social Studies textbooks to "A History of the 20th Century". skipping through my unhappy years in secondary school, my filing process has let me revisit my old notes, particularly those on Modern European History, which have and always will be my favourite academic subject. somehow, my fluctuating grades have never taken the gloss off the beauty of European politics, from the time of the Greek city states to the rise of Imperial Germany.

everything about history is...beautiful. it's like a story, but enacted in real-life. there are villains like Emperor Nero who can conjure up more hate than any Shakespearan baddie. there are heroes who inspire more than any of Aesop's fables, like my favourite statesman, Winston Churchill.

it's not that SMU or the Social Science course they offer is any less appealing. if, as is likely i will if i go there, do political science, i'll be dealing with modern world history, particularly of the 20th century. i can study the development of communist China, capitalist America and the whole lot. it's not broing by any means. but suddenly, history seems like enough of a reason to go to NUS, no matter how poor the college is in comparison to SMU.

sigh. thankfully i still have time to decide, because right now, i'm all befuddled :(