I
i've been praying for an opportunity to work in the BB. i hated my time in the BB in the 2nd Company because what they did was a lot of tosh and i felt that the emphasis was on drill and winning competitions rather than spiritual development. today, charles [my brother's friend] asked if i would like to be an officer in the BB at ACS(I). i can't begin to describe how excited i felt; even though it'll be a while before i can serve there, i can't wait. i've never told anyone this dream except dearest Father in heaven. God listens, then opens His mouth through the Christians around me.

II
i screwed up my drumming during service today. ok, so maybe i have high standards but it was perceptibly bad. usually i'd feel rather crap about it but something ping loong said caught my ear: "in spite of all the screw-ups, we still managed to worship God". made me think, a timely reminder that Jesus died to make us God-like in spirit, not god-like in gifts. so i'll pursue professional excellence in what i do, but i know that the focus is should be on God, not me. crafted circumstances, and that deep desire to know Him better is quenched by what He allows to happen to me, for my growth.

III
it's that quiet assurance that God loves me and forgives me, even when i mess up. i know i'm rather imperfect. knowing that God still speaks to me, a normal person, and gives me visions and dreams, showing me part of His heart, and i know that God is amazing. be it talking about history with my newly-found history buff churchmates, playing football with them or having YG weekly with my group, i know God is there, He listens, and watches over everyone there. somehow, the sermon always seems to touch on something specific i've been thinking about. God is good, and He listens.

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day i fall on my knees
'Cause Your grace still amazes me

love you God :)